


The Perils of Our Pasts

by LadyBrooke



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23013358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBrooke/pseuds/LadyBrooke
Summary: Finrod punches Celegorm before breaking down over dead friends.Celegorm decides he's going to have to take care of Finrod now.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	The Perils of Our Pasts

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a 100 words of someone who can take a beating prompt on FFA.

Celegorm fell back against the tree as Finrod’s fist connected with his nose and then his mouth, before Huan leapt between them, pushing Finrod away,

That was an unexpected reaction.

If it had occurred when he had first been reborn and Finrod had been angry over his betrayal, that would have made sense. But Finrod had forgiven him and they had just been speaking of Elrond’s daughter. What had he even said?

Huan stood between them now, warily looking back and forth as though he was not sure who to comfort.

Celegorm felt his face. It would bruise, certainly, and there was blood, but nothing was broken. Good. That would have made this harder.

A gasping breath drew his attention back to Finrod.

Finrod took another sharp breath. “I should not be jealous of my great-niece. I never even met her, and yet-“

Right, Celegorm thought. Arwen- what did Arwen have that Finrod did not?

“I wish- I wish,” Finrod sat on the ground, head in his hands and weeping. “I just wish it would end. That Lúthien’s fate and choice had been given to me as well. All of it- all of those friends are gone where I cannot follow, and I cannot- I am not sure I can do this any longer. I told Andreth-”

Celegorm’s first instinct was to throw Finrod over his shoulder and cart him off to someone better suited to this discussion, as horror rose in him at Finrod’s muttered thoughts.

Celegorm suppressed that first reaction in favor of pressing a hand against his still bleeding nose and taking a deep breath to settle himself. Huan would keep Finrod from doing anything.

He wondered if Maedhros had felt the same way as Finrod, even in the Halls when he learned of Elros’s death. He wondered even more if Maglor, lingering on the shoes of Middle-earth and watching countless generations of Elros’ descendants die, was tempted to just lay down on the shore and die.

Maedhros was still in the Halls. Maglor was still on the other of an ocean, and if even Elrond had not been able to convince him to sail, unlikely to arrive anytime soon. Anyone else Celegorm could think of was only likely to make the situation worse by reacting to the bruises and cuts first, even if he could get Finrod there without him escaping, or would have their own issues to deal with.

But Finrod- Finrod was here. And with Maedhros and Maglor elsewhere, Celegorm was the oldest of their generation here.

That was always a painful thought. But still, he had mostly succeeded in keeping his younger siblings alive and safe for longer than expected in Beleriand (longer than his cousins, who he had not tried to protect in that first life). And Finrod was not as prone to centuries long despair as Maedhros, Celegorm hoped, so this might not be as bad as Maedhros had been after Fingon's death.

He was going to have to be the responsible one.

“You know, cousin, if your first life proved anything, it is that you can take a beating and not break,” Celegorm finally settled for saying, grinning even as his split lip throbbed.

Finrod looked at him, confusion written across his face as tried to control his sobs. “I died, if you recall, and did not even make it through half the battles others did.”

“You fought Sauron and his wolves, and I shall be very displeased if you imply that is nothing when Huan died too.” Celegorm was proud that he did not flinch mentioning that, as Huan stood and walked over to Finrod, licking his face.

“But I did not get up-”

“You’re here, aren’t you? Maedhros isn’t, Aegnor isn’t, half our family isn’t. And it’s not that they’re weak or that they’ll never be back-“

He ignored Finrod’s muttered “We hope.”

“But they’re not back yet and you are. And even before your death, you didn’t lay down and give up when the first Kinslaying happened, when Aegnor and Angrod died, when Fingolfin died, every single time your friends died,” Celegorm said. “You kept fighting as everything, including Curufin and I, tried to knock you down.”

“So did everyone else-”

“And? That does not mean you did not.” Celegorm took a seat on the grass next to Finrod. Slowly, he reached an arm out, wrapping it around Finrod’s shoulder. When Finrod did not lash out again, he tightened his hold, tucking Finrod against him to Huan’s approving look.

“And if I do not get up this time?” Finrod said.

Celegorm’s hands tightened involuntarily. “Then you try again the next time, it does not make you weak. But please-”

Finrod released a shuddering breath. “I am not sure I can do this alone.”

“It is a good thing you are not alone in that case, my dear baby cousin,” Celegorm said, hoping that Finrod would be enough like Curufin-

“Baby?” Finrod’s voice rose, questioning Celegorm’s word choice.

Good, Celegorm thought, at least he’s slightly distracted and enough like Curufin that this is not a total mistake. “Yes. Curufin and you are the same age. He is one of my baby brothers, so you are one of my baby cousins. Funny how that works, isn’t it?”

“You’re trying to distract me,” Finrod said, a laughing sob breaking free.

“Is it working?” Celegorm tensed internally, trying to keep his body and face relaxed.

Finrod slumped further against Celegorm in response. “Do not leave me alone today, please. I do not-“

He left his sentence unfinished, dangling between them as a plea for aid.

“If you think I will leave you alone this week, let alone today, you are not half as wise as some think.” Celegorm looked at Huan, who nodded. “Huan will stay as well.”

Finrod nodded at that, faint relief in his expression. “I am sorry about your face.”

The cuts tinged again at the reminder, but Celegorm shook his head. “There is no need. It was deserved, if not for this than for the past.”

Finrod opened his mouth to argue. Celegorm placed a finger against Finrod’s lips to keep him from speaking. “Hush, cousin. Rest. We can discuss it more later, if we must. We will discuss your feelings later.”

Finrod glared for a moment, before nodding and relaxing again, exhaustion showing across his face and body.

Celegorm kept his hold on Finrod as Finrod drifted to sleep, tear stains still dotting his cheeks.

When Finrod had finally fallen asleep, Celegorm sighed and lifted a hand to his face again. “Well, Huan, at least you can be proud of me this time. Perhaps Maedhros and Maglor would be as well.”

Huan nudged Celegorm’s hand, nodding as Celegorm let out a yawn and then giving him a look.

“You want me to sleep too, don’t you?” Celegorm said.”I need to keep an eye on Finrod.”

Huan barked once, low and reassuring.

“Oh, you’ll keep an eye on Finrod and me? Well, if you insist-“

Huan barked again, and Celegorm laughed. “You are the only one wise enough to keep an eye on all of us. Very well, I will lie down with him, if only for your sake.”

The last thing Celegorm saw before falling asleep was Huan, perched in front of both Finrod and Celegorm himself, staring into the distance and ears perked for the faintest sound. With that reassuring sight, Celegorm slipped into his own dreams, still holding tight to Finrod.


End file.
